There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she smelled like a LAN party
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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