my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
