I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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