Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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