We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
