Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize