after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Houston, we have a blender
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
