if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
