i would punch a child for taco bell
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
And then the night went full on bisexual.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
