Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
