Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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