when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
