I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize