The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
