Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
