My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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