Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
