You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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