I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
