How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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