I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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