I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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