I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
