I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
