yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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