We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
