drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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