What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
