You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
