Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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