I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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