I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
