he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
