is your mom at the bar?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
