She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize