Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
