i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
