Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
