you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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