Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
