I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wish I only lived at night.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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