party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
