I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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