Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Is it because I queefed?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
