No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just found puke in my bra..
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
