Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
