I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize