She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
