I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
