Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i now understand why vodka
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
