what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I smell like Dick and happiness
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
