So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
