How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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