If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
