11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
