I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
