He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
