so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
