Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize