Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize