Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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