The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
