I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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