you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
